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Uncle Def's INFINITY SERIES Ultra Premium Oil

Are you tired of old, moldy multitools that just won't open when you want them to? I know I am, or at least I was before I stumbled onto the secret of how to put your money in my pocket!
Yes, that's right, I'm talking about the secret that all the big name companies don't want you to know about! And I'm talking major players- you name it, they are touching your bottom in ways that shouldn't be allowed outside of Arkansas! But, lucky for you I've found the secret to properly screwing the customer over, and it's called LUBRICATION!
That's right boys and girls, lubrication is what makes the world keep turning, and Uncle Def's INFINITY SERIES Premium Tool Oil is the best. I cannot accurately describe just how amazingly lubicrious the INFINITY SERIES is as we have yet to find the test subject- when last seen he was skidding down I-95 on a trash can lid leaving a trail of fire behind him!
“But Uncle Def” you say, “isn’t INFINITY SERIES just good old fashioned mineral oil that you can buy for pennies a gallon at the local grocery store?” Yes you are right, it is, but the Big Boys would have you paying up to $16.95 an ounce! That's outrageous!
If you act now, I'll package up for you a bottle of Uncle Def's INFINITY SERIES Premium Multitool Oil for the bargain price of only $12.95*! That's right, I said only $12.95*, but you have to act fast because this is a limited time offer, and as amazing as that is, that's not all! Oh wait, yes it is…
Don't forget Uncle Def's INFINITY SERIES Ultra Premium Tool Oil is pharmaceutical grade and food safe so you can lube any tool you like. For clearly superior smooth action give Uncle Def a squirt!
Order now, operators have gone on break!
*Plus shipping and handling, all rights reserved, void where prohibited, check your local listings, buyers are responsible for consulting and adhering to local ordinances. Offer valid while supplies last, don't eat the yellow snow. This product may contain traces of minerals and oil and may not be right for you. Side effects may include reduction of constipation, loss of tactile stability and spontaneous decapitation. In the event of this occurrence discontinue use and see a doctor immediately.
Remember, when you think slippery, think Uncle Def!

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